Portfolio Roasts Gallery
Brutally honest AI portfolio reviews in the voice of legendary investors. Browse the latest roasts — then unleash one on your own portfolio.
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Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts Safe 3/10 Portfolio: Defund the Gold Bunker
9 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's 4.5/10 Roast: Ditch the Emerging Market Index Trap
10 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's 2/10 Roast of a Safe, Bond-Heavy All-Weather Portfolio
8 assets · 3.8% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Why Druckenmiller Thinks Your Euro-Heavy Quality Portfolio Is a 4.5/10
12 assets · 4.3% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Why Druckenmiller Scored This Tech-Heavy 3/10 Portfolio a Disaster
14 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Slams This Clean Energy Portfolio: 4/10 Score and Tesla Risks
14 assets · 3.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Scores Your 8/10 Crypto and MicroStrategy Portfolio
10 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett’s 6.5 Score for Your Asia-Heavy Tech and TSMC Portfolio
15 assets · 5.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Roasts This Healthcare-Heavy Portfolio and Its 93% Sector Bet
15 assets · 6.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood: Why Your 3/10 Omaha Moat Portfolio Risks Total Disruption
13 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood's Verdict: Your Safe 2/10 Portfolio Is Stuck in the 1990s
11 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi’s Portfolio Review: Stop Buying Gold and Fund Semiconductors
11 assets · 2.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett's Verdict: Why Your Emerging Markets Portfolio Is a 5/10 Mess
12 assets · 5.5% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller Warns: This 73% REIT and Utility Bet is a Macro Trap
13 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller Slams This Bond-Heavy 4/10 Portfolio for Hedging Too Much
9 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts This Portfolio: Tech Gains vs Dangerous Crypto Bloat
14 assets · 7.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Critiques a 6/10 Green Energy Portfolio Drowning in ETFs
13 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller Slams Your 86% Europe Exposure as a Macro Disaster
12 assets · 3.8% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Critiques a 95% Asia Tech Portfolio: High Moats, High Risk
15 assets · 4.9% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett's Verdict: Your Healthcare Bet and GLP-1 Hype Gets a 5/10
13 assets · 3.3% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi's Verdict: Cut the Crypto and Load Up on NVIDIA Semis
10 assets · 4.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Roasts This Tech-Heavy Portfolio and its Crypto Rat Poison
15 assets · 6.2% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 3/10 Portfolio for Missing Out on Tech Tailwinds
11 assets · 10.8% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Roasts 81% Emerging Markets Bet and Bitcoin Speculation
13 assets · 8.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your 1995 Portfolio: Why Dividends Won't Save You
14 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Slams This 2/10 Real Estate and Utility Heavy Portfolio
12 assets · 3.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Why Cathie Wood Rates Your NVIDIA and Bitcoin Portfolio a Strong 8/10
12 assets · 2.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams This 4/10 Green Portfolio for Ignoring American Tech
11 assets · 9.6% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller on the Duration Trap: Stop Being Mediocre with VTI and TLT
10 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Critique: Great Moats in Asia but a Dangerous Lack of Cash
12 assets · 3.6% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood Roasts Your Legacy Dividend Portfolio: Fix the 3/10 Score
15 assets · 12.7% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Slams Your 90% Healthcare Portfolio: Where Are the Semis?
15 assets · 7.6% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller: Why Your Apple-Heavy Berkshire Clone Lacks Macro Edge
10 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Roasts 4/10 Portfolio: Too Much Gold and Not Enough US Tech
10 assets · 5.2% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Roasts This 4/10 Portfolio: Too High on Emerging Market Risk
14 assets · 4.6% cash
Roasted by Nancy Pelosi
Pelosi Rejects Your Crypto Bets: Why Tech Anchors Beat Speculation
14 assets · 2.7% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett’s Verdict: Stop Chasing Yield in Over-Concentrated REITs
12 assets · 5.4% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller Warns: Your Overlapping Tech and Crypto Bets Are Sinking
15 assets · 3.9% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts Your Green Portfolio: Turn a 6.5 Score into High Growth
12 assets · 5.8% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood Roasts Your Index-Heavy Portfolio: Stop Investing in the Past
10 assets · 3.4% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett’s Review of Income Harvest: Strong Moats vs. Yield Traps
14 assets · 2.5% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett Roasts a 6/10 Asia-Pacific Portfolio Heavy on Tech Risk
15 assets · 1.7% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Druckenmiller Slams This 93% Healthcare Bet as a Macro Disaster
16 assets · 2.1% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Wood’s Take: Why Your 93% Europe Portfolio Is Stuck in the Past
12 assets · 7.1% cash
Roasted by Stanley Druckenmiller
Why Druckenmiller Scored Your Apple and Berkshire Heavy Portfolio 4/10
12 assets · 3.1% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Emerging Markets Explorer
15 assets · 4.7% cash
Roasted by Cathie Wood
Cathie Wood: Why Your Index-Heavy Portfolio is Stuck in the Past
11 assets · 5.3% cash
Roasted by Warren Buffett
Buffett's 2/10 Verdict: Why This 67% Crypto Portfolio is Rat Poison
12 assets · 1.2% cash